Meet the Crosbys
Nick “The Stick” Tenore
Treasurer | Tenor 2
Nick Tenore was born and raised in Rockland County, NY, to loving parents Nick and Debra. He will be most remembered for being pretty okay at Hooked on Phonics, an educational program developed to improve the phonetic skills of young children, as well as his continued and untenable awe at claymation Christmas specials. Nick is survived by his wife, Marta, and pet ferret, Huchital.
Connor “Drool” Quinn
Connor Quinn is invisible. He pervades space and time, yet he has no corporeal body. His existence is necessary, yet paradoxical. He is a pretty decent juggler.
Pat “-ty Cake” Regan
After ending the time war at great personal cost, Patrick Regan sought musical endeavours with the Crosbys to begin a new legacy. Known as “The Oncoming Storm” in Dalek mythology, he has a kind heart but shows no mercy to those who threaten the universe.
Brandon “Birthday Boy” Seabrook
Brandon is a man of many joys. He enjoys long jam sessions on the beach, singing at or just enjoying music lounges on weeknights, and humming tunes with his friends. Once a singular sensation known for his scats and dance moves, Brandon is now a Crosby. For better or worse.
Justin “Laredo” Vega
President | Tenor 1
Found beneath the lost city, Justin was gifted the ability to think in any language, but only speak one. He has since discovered 10 things in total and has studied the science of being vague.
Danny “Deek” Lambraia
Daniel Lambraia wasn’t able to write his own bio about himself. The Crosbys told him that he could write any ridiculous backstory or joke in the 3-5 sentences allotted to him, but he could not come up with anything in a total of 2 hours. When asked about why he couldn’t write his own bio, Daniel responded that he doesn’t want to write his bio because “it’s my least favorite subject!”
Colin “Ice” Roth
Business Manager | Tenor 2
Prior to being reborn as a human robot hybrid, Colin was formerly a ficus, a fruity pebble, the sun, an elf, a lump of coal, Steven Seagal, a muppet baby, a pair of cut off jean shorts, a morbidly obese undersea peanut, and a Kia Sorento. His personal idols include Ghandi, Jar Jar Binks, and Lumpy Space Princess; not in that order. Hobbies of his include consuming mass amounts of Crunch and Munch, turning off machines, and waterworld. Formally a member of the Cringhamton Bosbys, Colin has decided to save 15% or more on car insurance by switching to the Crosbys.
Jonah “Schmutz” Steuer
From a young age, Jonah knew that he was different. On his 7th birthday, he realized that he had the ability to communicate with dinosaurs. But then he discovered that they’re all dead. Devastated, he joined the Crosbys.
Andrew “Cleez” Rapiejko
Historian | Tenor 2
Age: Legal, Sex: Enough, Hometown: Naboo, Weight: Benches 526lbs. He’s Andrew Rapiejko. People seem to like him because he is polite and is always late. He likes to eat ice cream and really enjoys a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell him that he has an I.Q. of 748 and is what some people call, erinaceous.